Whenever you find yourself participating in a behavior that you find particularly fulfilling or enjoyable ask yourself: what is this providing me?
Get into the habit of asking yourself this also when you engage in behaviors that don’t coincide with the life you want to lead or aren’t beneficial to you.
I came to this conclusion the other evening as I was meditating and drinking some hot chai spiced tea before bed.
It’s become somewhat of a ritual of mine to drink tea, meditate, and stretch before going to sleep.
I found myself cupping my tea with both hands smelling the various spices with joy and I thought about how grateful I am for this practice of having tea nightly.
So I asked myself: what is this providing me?
I took out my journal and made a list:
-a feeling of closeness to my grandma who frequently drinks tea
-before bed nightcap
This exercise was SO beneficial to me and I highly recommend it.
It’s important to take note of the things that we do and realize why we engage in certain behaviors.
An example of the other side to this would be if we catch ourselves gossiping… we could ask, what does this provide me?
Why am I engaging in this behavior?
I encourage you to get REALLY HONEST with yourself.
You might come up with answers like:
-it makes me feel like I’m a part of something
-it’s a habit I’ve gotten into specifically when talking to ____
-I want to bond with others
-it makes me feel badly
-it provides me with a sense of relief because gossiping about others prevents me from focusing on the drama in my own life
Now, it’s also important to note: this behavior doesn’t provide you with what you NEED. Which is really efficient bonding and an outlet to express the emotions you feel but aren’t able to act on in your daily life.
It’s important to notice your needs and how they are, or are not, being met so that you can adjust accordingly.
Our needs have a mind of their own and will express themselves in ways that we might not even realize, like subconsciously engaging in gossip without even realizing it’s damaging effects on both our own emotions but on the lives of the people around us.
In this scenario changing things up with the friend you usually grab drinks and gossip with to trying indoor rock-climbing or another activity to keep you engage in the present moment while also providing the excitement you’re looking for to escape your mundane routine.
Try it out!
And let me know how it works.
Be well xx.